Kiwi~SPARTA~ Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 Excerpts from a Dog's Diary * 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing! * 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing! * 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing! * 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! * 12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing! * 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing! * 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing! * 5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing! * 7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing! * 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing! * 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing! Excerpts from a Cat's Diary Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow --but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zeno~SPARTA~ Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
custard~SPARTA~ Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 Brilliant Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halli~SPARTA~ Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 Anti cat repelant: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowshoe Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 No anti-cats we love cats. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adder360~SPARTA~ Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 lol that cat likes to write. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
custard~SPARTA~ Posted February 19, 2008 Share Posted February 19, 2008 I have a cat called Jigs (short for Jigsaw, yep the kids named him) he is the local bully beats up the other cats. I watched while he jumped on a fully grown male pheasant (no kill) he kills all local wildlife inc moles (yes the underground vermin) mice, pigeon and rabbits. I have to pressure wash the patio from time to time to remove the bits he doesn't eat. I like him lots cos he saves me a big Rentokill bill. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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