Kiwi~SPARTA~ Posted October 8, 2007 Share Posted October 8, 2007 It was opening night at the Orpheum and the Amazing Eileen was topping the bill. People came from miles around to see the famed hypnotist do her stuff. As the Amazing Eileen took to the stage, she announced, "Unlike most stage hypnotists who invite two or three people up onto the stage to be put into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience." The excitement was almost electric as the Amazing Eileen withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from her coat. "I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. Its been in my family for six generations." She began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch.... " The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch, until suddenly it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces. "Shit," said the hypnotist. It took three weeks to clean up the theatre. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowshoe Posted October 9, 2007 Share Posted October 9, 2007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MedicSN6 Posted October 9, 2007 Share Posted October 9, 2007 HA HA Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowshoe Posted October 9, 2007 Share Posted October 9, 2007 > >> Tree Hugger >> >> While walking through the Boulder Colorado woods a man came upon another man >> hugging a tree with his ear firmly against the tree. Seeing this he >> inquired, "Just out of curiosity, what the heck are you doing? "I'm listening to the >> music of the tree," the other man replied. "You gotta be kiddin' me." "No, >> would you like to give it a try?" Understandably curious, the man says, "Well, >> OK..." So he wrapped his arms around the tree and pressed his ear up against >> it. With this the other guy, slapped a pair of handcuffs on him, took his >> wallet, jewelry, car keys, then stripped him naked and left. Two hours later >> another nature lover strolled by, saw this guy handcuffed to the tree stark >> naked, and asked, "What the hell happened to you?" He told the guy the whole >> terrible story about how he got there. When he finished telling his story, the >> other guy shook his head in sympathy, walked around behind him, kissed him >> gently behind the ear and said, "This just isn't gonna be your day, is it, >> Cupcake?" >> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowshoe Posted October 9, 2007 Share Posted October 9, 2007 The Polite way to Pee During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following q uestion: "Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?" Michael said, "Just a minute I have to go pee." The teacher responded by saying, "That would be rude and impolite. What about you Sherman, how would you say it?" Sherman said, "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back." "That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you,Little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?" "I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce you to after dinner." The teacher fainted Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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