Marriage?

[e_money~SPARTA~]

A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower.

In the middle of the night the woman leans over and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly pass me another blanket."

The man leans out and with a glint in his eye said "I've got a better idea ... let's pretend we're married."

"Why not," giggles the woman.

"Good," he replies. "Get your own blanket."

[Kiwi~SPARTA~]

What Every Man Expects in a Wife:

 

* She will always be beautiful and cheerful.

* She could marry a movie star, but wants only you.

* She will have hair that never needs curlers or beauty shops.

* Her beauty won't run in a rainstorm.

* She will never be sick--just allergic to jewelry and fur coats.

* She will insist that moving the furniture by herself, it's good for her figure.

* She will be an expert in cooking, cleaning house, fixing the car or TV, painting the house, and keeping quiet.

* Her favorite hobbies will be mowing the lawn and shoveling snow.

* She will hate charge cards.

* Her favorite expression will be, "What can I do for you, Dear?"

* She will think you have Einstein's brain but look like Mr. America.

* She will wish you would go out with the boys so that she could get some sewing done.

* She will love you because you're so sexy.

* She NEVER gets a "headache"

 

What He Usually Gets:

 

* She speaks 140 words a minute, with gusts up to 180.

* She was once a model... for a totem pole.

* Where there's smoke, there she is -- cooking.

* She's a light eater...once it gets light, she starts eating.

* She lets you know you only have two faults: everything you do, and everything you say.

* No matter what she does with it, her hair looks like an explosion in a steel wool factory.

* If you get lost, open your wallet and she'll find you.

* She has a chronic "headache" 364 days a year.

[Kiwi~SPARTA~]

A man and a woman are on their honeymoon when the man takes off his pants and throws to the woman. He tells her to put them on, and she responds "I can't wear these!"

He replies, "That's right! You just remember who wears the pants in this relationship!"

She just smiles and takes off her panties, tossing them to him. "Put these on," she says.

He looks at them and says "I can't begin to get into these!"

She answers "That's exactly right, and that's the way it's going to stay until you change your friggin attitude!!"

[Reme]

A man and a woman are on their honeymoon when the man takes off his pants and throws to the woman. He tells her to put them on, and she responds "I can't wear these!"

He replies, "That's right! You just remember who wears the pants in this relationship!"

She just smiles and takes off her panties, tossing them to him. "Put these on," she says.

He looks at them and says "I can't begin to get into these!"

She answers "That's exactly right, and that's the way it's going to stay until you change your friggin attitude!!"

lol nice