The Blonde

[Athlon64~SPARTA~]

A blonde, wanting to earn some extra money, decided to

hire herself out as a "handy-woman" and started canvassing a nearby

well-to-do neighbourhood.She went to the front door of the first

house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do."Well, I

guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he said, "How much will you

charge me?"The blonde quickly responded, "How about £50?"The man agreed and told her that the paint and everything she would need were in the garage.The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes all the way around the house?"He

responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?"The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those 'dumb blonde' jokes we've been getting by e-mail lately."A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money."You're finished already?" the husband asked."Yes," the

blonde replied, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the £50.00 and handed it to her."And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch it's a Lexus."

[custard~SPARTA~]

he he

 

very good mate

[adder360~SPARTA~]

lol gd one m8

[Zeno~SPARTA~]

More Blond

 

A guy is having a drink in a very dark bar. He leans over to the big woman next to him and says, "Do you wanna hear a funny blonde joke?"

The big woman replies, "Well, before you tell that joke, you should know something. I'm blonde, six feet tall, 210 lb., and I'm a professional triathlete and bodybuilder. The blonde woman sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 220 lb., and she's an ex-professional wrestler. Next to her is a blonde who's 6'5", weighs 250 lb., and she's a current professional kick boxer. Now, do you still want to tell that blonde joke?"

The guy thinks about it a second and says, "No, not if I'm going to have to explain it three times."

[Kiwi~SPARTA~]

80,000 blondes meet at the Wembley Stadium for a "Blondes Are Not Stupid Convention." The compere says "We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?" One blonde steps up. The compere says to her "What is 15 plus 15?" After 15 or 20 seconds she says "Eighteen." Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then 80,000 blondes start cheering "Give her another chance, give her another chance." The compere says "Well since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you here and the world wide press, I guess we can give her another chance." So he says "What is 5 plus 5?" After nearly 30 seconds she eventually says "Ninety?" The compere sighs - everyone is crestfallen and the blonde starts crying and 80,000 girls start yelling "Give her another chance, give her another chance." The compere, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than damage, eventually says "OK! One more chance. What is 2 plus 2?" The girl closes her eyes and after a whole minute eventually says "Four." Around the stadium 80,000 girls start yelling "Give her another chance, give her another chance."And just to prove it's not always dumb blonde women. A blonde guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. "What's up?" he says. "I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says, "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!" The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor. You rotten $#(*&%$($#!, "says the husband, "my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids.