Snowshoe Posted October 10, 2007 Share Posted October 10, 2007 A couple arrive home to their 5-bedroom house in a leafy suburb. Uponentering the house, they call out for their eldest daughter, whose 18thbirthday it was that day. The expected answer did not come, so the fatherwent upstairs. He knocked and entered his daughter's bedroom and saw aletter on the bed. With the worst possible premonition, he read with trembling hands: Dear Mum and Dad, It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm telling you that I've elopedwith my new boyfriend. I've found real love and he is so nice, especiallywith all his piercings, scars, tattoos, and his big motorcycle. But it is not only that, I'm pregnant and Ahmed said that we will be very happy in his trailer in the woods. He wants to have many more children with me and thatis one of my dreams. ve learned that marijuana doesn't hurt anyone and we'll be growing it forus and his friends. They're the ones providing us with all the cocaine and ecstasy we could ever want. In the meantime, we'll pray for science to find the AIDS cure so Ahmed getsbetter. He deserves it. Don't worry about money, Ahmed has arranged for me to be in films that his friends Leroy and Jamal make in their basement. Apparently I can earn £50 a scene and I get a £50 bonus if there are morethan three men in the scene, and an extra £100 if they use a horse. Don'tworry Mum, now I'm 18 years old I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'll visit you and Dad so that you can meet your grandchildren. Your loving daughter, Aimee P.S. Dad, it's not true, I'm at a neighbours house. I just wanted to showyou that there are worse things in life than denting the car. Sorry aboutyour BMW. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowshoe Posted October 10, 2007 Author Share Posted October 10, 2007 A little rabbit is running happily through the forest when he stumbles upon a giraffe rolling a joint. The rabbit looks at the giraffe and says, "Giraffe my friend, why do you do this? Come. Run with me through the forest! You''ll feel so much better!" The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it and goes off running with the rabbit. Then they come across an elephant doing coke. So the rabbit again says, "Elephant my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health. Come. Run with us through the pretty forest, you''ll see, you''ll feel so good!" The elephant looks at them, looks at his razor, mirror and coke, then tosses them and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe. The three animals then come across a lion about to shoot up. "Lion my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health! Come. Run with us through the beautiful forest and you''ll feel so good!" The lion looks at him, puts down his needle, and mauls the rabbit. The giraffe and elephant watch in horror and look at him and ask, "Lion, why did you do this? He was merely trying to help you." The lion answers, "That little bastard! He makes me run around the forest like a f**king idiot every time he's on ecstasy!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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