congratulations. having been down the same road with my two sons, i can tell you it was worth it. One thing I did, that really helped my kids, was to take the conflict out of the equation. I never said anything bad about their mother in their presence. I hired a parenting coordinator and ALL changes to the custody schedule, vacations, etc had to go through her. None of the usual bs could occur where the kids serve as a battleground for the adults. This prevents last minute changes from causing stress. Also, when the mother would plant ideas in the kids heads, I would not be the bad guy for saying no. The parenting coordinator was the arbiter and she prevented this kind of nonsense, stress and bad feelings.