Kiwi~SPARTA~

This is mine.

Happy Birthday Adder.

Happy Birthday Elvis.

Congratulations Mate.

Happy Birthday Sam. Have a good day.

An offer NOT to be missed! I thought this was a hoax at first... Summer 2009 is almost here. To celebrate this many supermarket stores are giving away free barbecues to all that can go and collect them. You can get a free BBQ from any of the following stores. · ASDA · Morrison's · Costco · Kwik Save · Somerfield · Aldi · Sainsbury · Tesco · Iceland · Lidl All BBQs come with a higher shelf which can be used for keeping things warm! PLEASE NOTE: Some stores may charge a £1 administration fee. If you wish to see a picture of this product please scroll down.

A New Mouse for Women After years of research, scientists have discovered that women do not like the standard mouse given away with PC's. Scientists found that there is not a physical reason for their aversion; It is more of a Psychological problem. Some women reported that their mouse 'just didn't feel right' in their hands. Based on the research,a new mouse has been designed especially for women. Various field tests have been carried out on the new design: Julie from Hounslow said:- 't feels so much better. More comfortable, more like how it's supposed to be' Susan from Chelmsford added:- 'I think mice were originally designed just for men, but this new type is definitely made for women. It fits right in with my lifestyle' Hillary from Kent :said - 'I took to it like a duck to water, every woman should have one'! Sally From London Said ? "It feels so natural"

Happy Birthday Pro.

An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Rimini, Italy, went to the local church for confession. When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, The man said: 'Father .... During World War II, a beautiful Jewish woman from our neighbourhood knocked urgently on my door and asked me to hide her from the Nazis. So I hid her in my attic.' The priest replied: 'That was a wonderful thing you did, and you have no need to confess that.' 'There is more to tell, Father... She started to repay me with sexual favours. This happened several times a week, and sometimes twice on Sundays.' The priest said, 'That was a long time ago and by doing what you did, you placed the two of you in great danger, but two people under those circumstances can easily succumb to the weakness of the flesh. However, if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven.' 'Thank you, Father. That's a great load off my mind. I do have one more question.' 'And what is that?' asked the priest. 'Should I tell her the war is over?''

What a voice. This kid is gonna be competition for Susan Boyle. It gets good at about 1.00 minute in

When you think you are having an ugly day. Now don't you feel better about yourself?

Congrats Mr & Mrs Pro. Hope all goes well.

The latest club craze is to fill a woman's vagina with vodka and then suck it out using a straw. Doctors are warning about the dangers of minge drinking A farmer in Devon has made history by growing a field of dildos! Unfortunately he's had a lot of trouble with squatters! 85% of Liverpudlian males say they enjoy sex in the shower........ The other 15% haven't been to prison yet I'm really p*ssed off! Someone's just crashed into my car in one of them new Skodas. There's f.......g jam and sponge everywhere! Bastards! Just been thrown out & barred from the local swimming baths because I had my Speedo trunks on! What I didn't know was the 'S' had come off the logo!! Just bought a racehorse called 'My Face', It may not be any good but I can't wait to hear all the women in the crowd screaming 'come on .. .My face I've just been 2 my first Muslim birthday party! Musical chairs was a bit slow but f*ck me pass the parcel was fast! I dunno what all the fuss is about this shark coming to Cornwall It's the first thing in ages that's tried to get in this country that's f*cking white !! 2 Irish couples decide to swap partners. Afterwards Paddy said to Murphy that's the best f*ck I've ever had, I wonder how the girls got on ? If mothers Celebrate mothers day, fathers celebrate fathers day, lovers celebrate valentines day, do wankers celebrate palm sunday? Paddy weighs 20st, so his doctor puts him on a diet. 'I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day and repeat this for 2 weeks, you should loose 5lbs.' When Paddy returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost 4st. 'That?s amazing the doc said'...Paddy nodded...'I'll tell you be Jesus, I taut I was gonna drop dead by da 3rd day.' 'What from hunger said the doc?'...'No from the f........g skipping!' Just popped home, caught the plumber with his dick in the dog! Can't believe the police won't do anything! They said the b*stard was corgi registered