Kiwi~SPARTA~

I think so. It's alot of fun & i end up using the same language you used to use. Get yourself to a Gamestation, they're selling it in the 2 for £15 section. Let me know if you get it cos COOP is a lot of fun.

At the moment I'm playing: FEAR, GRAW 2, Solitaire, Rainbow Six Vegas. I'm just waiting on COD 4 & Crysis to be released.

Hey Bertie, Good to see you posting again. Now get on TS mate.

Ahoy you Scurvy Dogs. This be coming from the Wench.

Welcome Gray~SPARTA~ , the tags look good.

Happy Birthday Zeno. Hope you are having a great day so far. Have some cake mate.

I hope to God he wasn't playing Bury the Sausage with Custardicus~SPARTA~

I wasn't far off. ;) Hey Santa claus you c**t! Where's me f***ing bike? I've unwrapped all this other junk and there's nothing that I like. I wrote you a f***ing letter and I come to see you twice Ya worn out geriatric fart, you forgot me f***ing bike. If I wanted a pair of bloody thongs, I'd have bloody asked. And this cowboy suit and ping pong set you can shove right up your arse! You've stuffed me bloody order up It's enough to make you spew And I'm not the only one who's snakey Me sisters dirty too! Hey santa clause you c**t! Where's me f***ing pram? You promised me you'd bring me one, you remember who I am. 'Cause I'm the little girl who you made sit right on your hand I'll give you f***ing ho ho ho You forgot me f***ing pram Next time I come to see ya, I'm gonna punch you in the guts And I'll let your f***ing reihndeer go and kick Rudolf in the nuts! You just wait 'till next year, when you go to that store And me and me little sister, come stomping through the door And we'll say, yeah you wait for it Hey mums and dads you smell his breath and check his bloodshot eyes And don't listen to him boys and girls 'cause he tells f***ing lies He's just a piss tank and a pervert, and he's not even very bright 'Cause the old f***ing w*nker Forgot me f***ing bike. You wait you old c**t, I'm gonna dob you in Tell me old man on you, he's gonna punch your f***ing lights out "I saw mummy sucking santa clause"

Yeah, he's brilliant. Santa Claus you f***king c***t where's me f***king bike. Hilarious.

Dear Santa I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all Yeer yer Frend, BiLLy Dear Billy, Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send you a friggin' book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell! Santa Dear Santa, I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody! Love, Sarah Dear Sarah, Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? Santa Dear Santa, I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do? Love, Teddy Dear Teddy, Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead. Santa Dear Santa, I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door. Love, Susan Dear Susan, Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of scotch. Santa Dear Santa, What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys? Your friend, Thomas Dear Thomas, All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losingmoney at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know. Santa Dear Santa, Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song? Love, Jessica Dear Jessica, Are you really that gullible or are you just a blonde? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house. Santa Dear Santa, I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE- PLEASE could I have one? Timmy Timmy, That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater again. Santa Dearest Santa, We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home? Love, Marky Mark, First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like the boogeyman does, through your bedroom window. Sweet Dreams, Santa

The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an Indian war party. The Indian Chief proclaims, "So, you are the great Lone Ranger. In honor of the Harvest Festival, you will be executed in three days. But, before I kill you, I will grant you three requests. What is your first request?" The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse." Chief nods and Silver is brought before the Lone Ranger, who whispers in Silver's ear, and the horse gallops away. Later that evening, Silver returns with a beautiful blond woman on his back. As the Indian Chief watches, the blond enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night. The next morning the Indian Chief admits he's impressed. "You have a very fine and loyal horse, but I will still kill you in two days. What is your second request?" The Lone Ranger again asks to speak to his horse. Silver is brought to him and he again whispers in the horse's ear. As before, Silver takes off across the plains and disappears over the horizon. Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returns, this time with a voluptuous brunette, even more attractive than the blond. She enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night. The following morning the Indian Chief is again impressed. "You are indeed a man of many talents, but I will still kill you tomorrow. What is your last request?" The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse, alone." The Chief is curious, but he agrees and Silver is brought to the Lone Ranger's tent. Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears, looks him square in the eyes and says, "Listen carefully, for the last time... BRING POSSE!"

Too much information Postal. I really don't need that picture in my head.

A man and a woman are on their honeymoon when the man takes off his pants and throws to the woman. He tells her to put them on, and she responds "I can't wear these!" He replies, "That's right! You just remember who wears the pants in this relationship!" She just smiles and takes off her panties, tossing them to him. "Put these on," she says. He looks at them and says "I can't begin to get into these!" She answers "That's exactly right, and that's the way it's going to stay until you change your friggin attitude!!"

What Every Man Expects in a Wife: * She will always be beautiful and cheerful. * She could marry a movie star, but wants only you. * She will have hair that never needs curlers or beauty shops. * Her beauty won't run in a rainstorm. * She will never be sick--just allergic to jewelry and fur coats. * She will insist that moving the furniture by herself, it's good for her figure. * She will be an expert in cooking, cleaning house, fixing the car or TV, painting the house, and keeping quiet. * Her favorite hobbies will be mowing the lawn and shoveling snow. * She will hate charge cards. * Her favorite expression will be, "What can I do for you, Dear?" * She will think you have Einstein's brain but look like Mr. America. * She will wish you would go out with the boys so that she could get some sewing done. * She will love you because you're so sexy. * She NEVER gets a "headache" What He Usually Gets: * She speaks 140 words a minute, with gusts up to 180. * She was once a model... for a totem pole. * Where there's smoke, there she is -- cooking. * She's a light eater...once it gets light, she starts eating. * She lets you know you only have two faults: everything you do, and everything you say. * No matter what she does with it, her hair looks like an explosion in a steel wool factory. * If you get lost, open your wallet and she'll find you. * She has a chronic "headache" 364 days a year.

Don't tell him.

Family friendly version of 300. Enjoy http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=22520

This is your Birthdaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay. Have a great day mate.

Good Luck Postal, hope things go well for you.

When Floyd gives me some pocket money, I will be making a contribution towards the server. ;)

Two guys are bungee-jumping one day. The first guy says to the second. "You know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico." The second guy thinks this is a great idea, so the two pool their money and buy everything they'll need - a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc. They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work. The first guy jumps. He bounces at the end of the cord, but when he comes back up, the second guy notices that he has a few cuts and scratches. Unfortunately, the second guy isn't able catch him, he falls again, bounces and comes back up again. This time, he is bruised and bleeding. Again, the second guy misses him. The first guy falls again and bounces back up. This time, he comes back pretty messed up - he's got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious. Luckily, the second guy finally catches him this time and says, "What happened? Was the cord too long?" The first guy says, "No, the cord was fine, but what the heck is a 'pinata'?"