Kiwi~SPARTA~

Sorry, Photobucket deleted it, It's working now.

The doctor said, 'Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.' Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He saw a men's clothing store and thought, 'That's what I need, a new suit.' He entered the shop and told the salesman, 'I'd like a new suit.' The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, 'Let's see.......... size 44 long.' Joe laughed, 'That's right, how did you know?' 'Been in the business 60 years!' the tailor said. Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, 'How about a new shirt?' Joe thought for a moment and then said, 'Sure.' The salesman eyed Joe and said, 'Let's see, 24" sleeves and 16-1/2 neck.' Joe was surprised, 'That's right, how did you know?' 'Been in the business 60 years.' Joe tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, 'How about some new underwear?' Joe thought for a moment and said, 'Sure.' The salesman said, 'Let's see... size 36". Joe laughed, 'Ah ha! I got you! I've worn a size 34" since I was 18 years old.' The salesman shook his head, 'You can't wear a size 34". A size 34" would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache.' New suit - £300 New shirt - £36 New underwear - £6 Second Opinion - PRICELESS

That was so funny, excellent.

A game we can all enjoy. http://stuff.pyzam.com/toys/tictacscare.swf

It works for me. Nice one Cobol. Cheers

All sorted, you should be able to get on now.

These tires are made in South Carolina , USA . SEE-THROUGH TIRES. Radical new tire design by Michelin. The next generation of tires. They had a pair at the Philadelphia car show. Yes, those are 'spoke' like connections to the inner part of the tire from the outside tread 'wrap!' The next picture shows how odd it looks in motion.... Makes you wonder how the ride feels doesn't it? These tires are airless and are scheduled to be out on the market very soon. The bad news for law enforcement is that spike strips will not work on these. Just think of the impact on existing technology: A. no more air valves... B. no more air compressors at gas stations... C. no more repair kits... D. no more flats... These are actual pictures taken in the South Carolina plant of Michelin

Happy Birthday E. Have a good one.

Apparently these are actual quotes taken from work appraisals. 1. Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig. 2. I would not allow this employee to breed. 3. This employee is really not much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be. 4. Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap. 5. When she opens her mouth, it seems it is only to change feet. 6. He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle. 7. This young lady has delusions of adequacy. 8. He sets low personal standards and he consistently fails to achieve them. 9. This employee is depriving a village somewhere of its idiot. 10. This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better. 11. Got a full 6-pack but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together. 12. A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus. 13. He doesn't have ulcers - but he is a carrier. 14. He's been working with glue too long. 15. He would argue with a signpost 16. He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room. 17. When his I.Q. reaches 50 he should sell. 18. If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one. 19. Donated his brain to science before he was finished using it. 20. He has two brains - one is lost and the other is out looking for it. 21. If he were any more stupid he'd have to be watered twice a week 22. It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm. 23. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge - he only gargled. 24. The wheel is still turning but the hamster's dead.

Happy Birthday ATi.

Janis Joplin - Cry Baby

Congrats to you & the soon to be Mrs Money.

Have a good one Medic.

A woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Arizona when her car broke down. An American Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a' so loud that it echoed from the surrounding hills.. When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final 'Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!' and rode off. 'What did you do to get that Indian so excited?' asked the service-station attendant. 'Nothing,' the woman answered. 'I merely sat behind hi m on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto the saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off.' 'Lady,' the attendant said, 'Indians don't use saddles'

That's not snow, that's Amy Winehouse's coke stash.